Simulating productivityIgnoring limitationsProcrastinating coffee breaksAligning crooked edgesHacking into the mainframeEnhancing subjective beautyChanging coffee filtersBuffering cursing computerRestarting modemOptimistic ceiling staringCensoring political correctnessForgetting to remember to forgetDownloading RAMExposing imperfectionsFactoring in lazinessAnalyzing previous messageCloning imperfectionsWhitening teethExcessive head scratchingEnabling voluntary overtimeCultivating trivial small talkDepixelating realityFocusing on indistinct detailsCompressing superficial workflowFabricating Russian conspiracyImplementing loose disciplineSeizing the memes of productionAttempting theoretical creativityReevaluating evaluationsReanimating deadlinesBeing politically incorrectCompounding omelette without breaking eggsShadilayingDestabilizing office chairContemplating takeaway orderDecrypting vague guidelinesDeconstructing rubix cubeAvoiding elaborate mistakesGenerating unnecessary informationAttempting to turning off and on againCalibrating problem solvingSpilling vital coffeeStitching vertical panoramasImporting stale RAW filesRemoving crippling doubtsPixelating lossless vectorsFinding new ideas under the sunNormalizing objective absurditiesSaving lost progress