Simulating productivityHacking into the mainframeStitching vertical panoramasAttempting to turning off and on againShadilayingOptimistic ceiling staringCalibrating problem solvingGenerating unnecessary informationCloning imperfectionsCensoring political correctnessCultivating trivial small talkReevaluating evaluationsNormalizing objective absurditiesProcrastinating coffee breaksDownloading RAMIgnoring limitationsAnalyzing previous messageWhitening teethPixelating lossless vectorsRemoving crippling doubtsEnabling voluntary overtimeSpilling vital coffeeFabricating Russian conspiracyAttempting theoretical creativityImplementing loose disciplineFinding new ideas under the sunImporting stale RAW filesAvoiding elaborate mistakesCompounding omelette without breaking eggsDestabilizing office chairExcessive head scratchingBeing politically incorrectDecrypting vague guidelinesSeizing the memes of productionChanging coffee filtersBuffering cursing computerFocusing on indistinct detailsCompressing superficial workflowReanimating deadlinesFactoring in lazinessRestarting modemExposing imperfectionsEnhancing subjective beautyAligning crooked edgesSaving lost progressContemplating takeaway orderDepixelating realityDeconstructing rubix cubeForgetting to remember to forget