Reanimating deadlinesHacking into the mainframeDestabilizing office chairRestarting modemDepixelating realityAvoiding elaborate mistakesWhitening teethFabricating Russian conspiracySaving lost progressStitching vertical panoramasShadilayingSeizing the memes of productionBuffering cursing computerImporting stale RAW filesGenerating unnecessary informationProcrastinating coffee breaksCalibrating problem solvingReevaluating evaluationsNormalizing objective absurditiesAttempting theoretical creativityDownloading RAMCensoring political correctnessRemoving crippling doubtsAligning crooked edgesFinding new ideas under the sunSimulating productivityCultivating trivial small talkContemplating takeaway orderSpilling vital coffeeDecrypting vague guidelinesCompounding omelette without breaking eggsCompressing superficial workflowImplementing loose disciplineFactoring in lazinessEnhancing subjective beautyFocusing on indistinct detailsPixelating lossless vectorsCloning imperfectionsExposing imperfectionsForgetting to remember to forgetOptimistic ceiling staringBeing politically incorrectEnabling voluntary overtimeExcessive head scratchingChanging coffee filtersIgnoring limitationsDeconstructing rubix cubeAnalyzing previous messageAttempting to turning off and on again