Exposing imperfectionsIgnoring limitationsSimulating productivityCompounding omelette without breaking eggsProcrastinating coffee breaksDestabilizing office chairWhitening teethNormalizing objective absurditiesAvoiding elaborate mistakesStitching vertical panoramasAttempting to turning off and on againRestarting modemSpilling vital coffeeReanimating deadlinesCompressing superficial workflowPixelating lossless vectorsEnhancing subjective beautyFocusing on indistinct detailsReevaluating evaluationsRemoving crippling doubtsEnabling voluntary overtimeSaving lost progressShadilayingFinding new ideas under the sunOptimistic ceiling staringFactoring in lazinessAnalyzing previous messageFabricating Russian conspiracyImplementing loose disciplineSeizing the memes of productionDecrypting vague guidelinesExcessive head scratchingCultivating trivial small talkHacking into the mainframeForgetting to remember to forgetBuffering cursing computerCalibrating problem solvingCloning imperfectionsAttempting theoretical creativityChanging coffee filtersCensoring political correctnessGenerating unnecessary informationImporting stale RAW filesDownloading RAMAligning crooked edgesBeing politically incorrectContemplating takeaway orderDepixelating realityDeconstructing rubix cube