Calibrating problem solvingGenerating unnecessary informationShadilayingProcrastinating coffee breaksDownloading RAMCloning imperfectionsAvoiding elaborate mistakesFactoring in lazinessBeing politically incorrectHacking into the mainframeEnabling voluntary overtimePixelating lossless vectorsAttempting to turning off and on againSeizing the memes of productionDeconstructing rubix cubeSimulating productivityDestabilizing office chairRestarting modemImporting stale RAW filesAttempting theoretical creativityCompressing superficial workflowFinding new ideas under the sunExcessive head scratchingImplementing loose disciplineAnalyzing previous messageDepixelating realityReanimating deadlinesDecrypting vague guidelinesSpilling vital coffeeBuffering cursing computerContemplating takeaway orderChanging coffee filtersOptimistic ceiling staringIgnoring limitationsFabricating Russian conspiracyAligning crooked edgesStitching vertical panoramasSaving lost progressCompounding omelette without breaking eggsFocusing on indistinct detailsForgetting to remember to forgetRemoving crippling doubtsExposing imperfectionsReevaluating evaluationsCultivating trivial small talkWhitening teethCensoring political correctnessEnhancing subjective beautyNormalizing objective absurdities