Reevaluating evaluationsSimulating productivityIgnoring limitationsFabricating Russian conspiracyHacking into the mainframeSpilling vital coffeeCensoring political correctnessDownloading RAMSeizing the memes of productionImporting stale RAW filesFinding new ideas under the sunNormalizing objective absurditiesCalibrating problem solvingDecrypting vague guidelinesAligning crooked edgesAvoiding elaborate mistakesProcrastinating coffee breaksDeconstructing rubix cubeWhitening teethForgetting to remember to forgetCompressing superficial workflowExcessive head scratchingContemplating takeaway orderAttempting theoretical creativityChanging coffee filtersShadilayingExposing imperfectionsStitching vertical panoramasImplementing loose disciplineCloning imperfectionsDepixelating realityFocusing on indistinct detailsOptimistic ceiling staringFactoring in lazinessEnhancing subjective beautyBuffering cursing computerBeing politically incorrectPixelating lossless vectorsAnalyzing previous messageCompounding omelette without breaking eggsEnabling voluntary overtimeCultivating trivial small talkReanimating deadlinesRestarting modemGenerating unnecessary informationSaving lost progressDestabilizing office chairRemoving crippling doubtsAttempting to turning off and on again