Attempting theoretical creativityProcrastinating coffee breaksNormalizing objective absurditiesSimulating productivityEnhancing subjective beautyRemoving crippling doubtsFinding new ideas under the sunExcessive head scratchingDeconstructing rubix cubeWhitening teethCompounding omelette without breaking eggsPixelating lossless vectorsForgetting to remember to forgetDepixelating realitySeizing the memes of productionDecrypting vague guidelinesBuffering cursing computerStitching vertical panoramasSaving lost progressFactoring in lazinessCensoring political correctnessEnabling voluntary overtimeImplementing loose disciplineHacking into the mainframeFocusing on indistinct detailsExposing imperfectionsReanimating deadlinesDownloading RAMCompressing superficial workflowCultivating trivial small talkReevaluating evaluationsImporting stale RAW filesOptimistic ceiling staringChanging coffee filtersIgnoring limitationsCloning imperfectionsDestabilizing office chairAttempting to turning off and on againAligning crooked edgesSpilling vital coffeeAvoiding elaborate mistakesBeing politically incorrectCalibrating problem solvingRestarting modemAnalyzing previous messageContemplating takeaway orderGenerating unnecessary informationFabricating Russian conspiracyShadilaying