Reanimating deadlinesAttempting to turning off and on againAvoiding elaborate mistakesRestarting modemForgetting to remember to forgetCompounding omelette without breaking eggsDepixelating realityEnabling voluntary overtimeFinding new ideas under the sunWhitening teethCompressing superficial workflowCalibrating problem solvingSpilling vital coffeeCensoring political correctnessBeing politically incorrectFocusing on indistinct detailsDecrypting vague guidelinesAnalyzing previous messageSeizing the memes of productionStitching vertical panoramasImplementing loose disciplineExposing imperfectionsSimulating productivityShadilayingEnhancing subjective beautyAligning crooked edgesIgnoring limitationsDestabilizing office chairRemoving crippling doubtsCultivating trivial small talkExcessive head scratchingAttempting theoretical creativityHacking into the mainframeDeconstructing rubix cubeProcrastinating coffee breaksContemplating takeaway orderCloning imperfectionsReevaluating evaluationsPixelating lossless vectorsSaving lost progressOptimistic ceiling staringChanging coffee filtersGenerating unnecessary informationDownloading RAMFactoring in lazinessBuffering cursing computerNormalizing objective absurditiesFabricating Russian conspiracyImporting stale RAW files