Simulating productivityForgetting to remember to forgetCultivating trivial small talkShadilayingCloning imperfectionsEnabling voluntary overtimeFabricating Russian conspiracyFactoring in lazinessRemoving crippling doubtsImplementing loose disciplineFinding new ideas under the sunExposing imperfectionsSeizing the memes of productionAnalyzing previous messageAttempting to turning off and on againDeconstructing rubix cubeSaving lost progressAttempting theoretical creativityImporting stale RAW filesReevaluating evaluationsBuffering cursing computerCensoring political correctnessReanimating deadlinesHacking into the mainframeEnhancing subjective beautyCalibrating problem solvingProcrastinating coffee breaksContemplating takeaway orderRestarting modemAvoiding elaborate mistakesDownloading RAMExcessive head scratchingCompounding omelette without breaking eggsDestabilizing office chairOptimistic ceiling staringAligning crooked edgesSpilling vital coffeeCompressing superficial workflowIgnoring limitationsStitching vertical panoramasChanging coffee filtersBeing politically incorrectPixelating lossless vectorsGenerating unnecessary informationFocusing on indistinct detailsNormalizing objective absurditiesWhitening teethDepixelating realityDecrypting vague guidelines