Simulating productivityFabricating Russian conspiracyDownloading RAMAttempting to turning off and on againRemoving crippling doubtsExposing imperfectionsChanging coffee filtersAttempting theoretical creativityRestarting modemEnabling voluntary overtimeWhitening teethFocusing on indistinct detailsReanimating deadlinesBuffering cursing computerGenerating unnecessary informationSaving lost progressSeizing the memes of productionOptimistic ceiling staringFactoring in lazinessStitching vertical panoramasImplementing loose disciplineExcessive head scratchingSpilling vital coffeeCompressing superficial workflowImporting stale RAW filesReevaluating evaluationsProcrastinating coffee breaksAnalyzing previous messageCalibrating problem solvingShadilayingEnhancing subjective beautyIgnoring limitationsDestabilizing office chairBeing politically incorrectCompounding omelette without breaking eggsCultivating trivial small talkFinding new ideas under the sunPixelating lossless vectorsDeconstructing rubix cubeNormalizing objective absurditiesAligning crooked edgesAvoiding elaborate mistakesDepixelating realityForgetting to remember to forgetCloning imperfectionsHacking into the mainframeDecrypting vague guidelinesCensoring political correctnessContemplating takeaway order