Saving lost progressForgetting to remember to forgetProcrastinating coffee breaksHacking into the mainframeReevaluating evaluationsCensoring political correctnessFabricating Russian conspiracySpilling vital coffeeDestabilizing office chairGenerating unnecessary informationAttempting theoretical creativityBeing politically incorrectEnabling voluntary overtimeDepixelating realityFinding new ideas under the sunReanimating deadlinesDownloading RAMFactoring in lazinessContemplating takeaway orderChanging coffee filtersDecrypting vague guidelinesExposing imperfectionsCompounding omelette without breaking eggsWhitening teethAnalyzing previous messageEnhancing subjective beautyStitching vertical panoramasIgnoring limitationsCloning imperfectionsAvoiding elaborate mistakesAttempting to turning off and on againAligning crooked edgesFocusing on indistinct detailsSimulating productivityRestarting modemOptimistic ceiling staringPixelating lossless vectorsCultivating trivial small talkCompressing superficial workflowNormalizing objective absurditiesRemoving crippling doubtsBuffering cursing computerExcessive head scratchingDeconstructing rubix cubeCalibrating problem solvingSeizing the memes of productionImporting stale RAW filesImplementing loose disciplineShadilaying