Generating unnecessary informationDecrypting vague guidelinesWhitening teethEnabling voluntary overtimeCompressing superficial workflowEnhancing subjective beautyCensoring political correctnessSaving lost progressCloning imperfectionsRemoving crippling doubtsImplementing loose disciplineShadilayingNormalizing objective absurditiesSimulating productivityDepixelating realityFabricating Russian conspiracyBuffering cursing computerExcessive head scratchingReanimating deadlinesDownloading RAMHacking into the mainframeCompounding omelette without breaking eggsAttempting theoretical creativitySeizing the memes of productionFinding new ideas under the sunOptimistic ceiling staringBeing politically incorrectExposing imperfectionsAnalyzing previous messageDestabilizing office chairForgetting to remember to forgetContemplating takeaway orderDeconstructing rubix cubeImporting stale RAW filesChanging coffee filtersFactoring in lazinessAligning crooked edgesCalibrating problem solvingIgnoring limitationsFocusing on indistinct detailsRestarting modemCultivating trivial small talkPixelating lossless vectorsProcrastinating coffee breaksReevaluating evaluationsSpilling vital coffeeAvoiding elaborate mistakesAttempting to turning off and on againStitching vertical panoramas