Ignoring limitationsReanimating deadlinesReevaluating evaluationsCompressing superficial workflowDecrypting vague guidelinesFabricating Russian conspiracyDestabilizing office chairHacking into the mainframeRemoving crippling doubtsNormalizing objective absurditiesPixelating lossless vectorsFactoring in lazinessChanging coffee filtersRestarting modemDepixelating realityCalibrating problem solvingImporting stale RAW filesBeing politically incorrectOptimistic ceiling staringWhitening teethImplementing loose disciplineContemplating takeaway orderDownloading RAMForgetting to remember to forgetStitching vertical panoramasSeizing the memes of productionEnhancing subjective beautyAnalyzing previous messageSaving lost progressFinding new ideas under the sunCompounding omelette without breaking eggsSimulating productivityProcrastinating coffee breaksAvoiding elaborate mistakesBuffering cursing computerAttempting theoretical creativityExposing imperfectionsAttempting to turning off and on againCensoring political correctnessEnabling voluntary overtimeCultivating trivial small talkGenerating unnecessary informationExcessive head scratchingShadilayingFocusing on indistinct detailsAligning crooked edgesDeconstructing rubix cubeSpilling vital coffeeCloning imperfections