Fabricating Russian conspiracySimulating productivityCompounding omelette without breaking eggsFactoring in lazinessHacking into the mainframeAttempting theoretical creativityEnhancing subjective beautyCloning imperfectionsReanimating deadlinesBuffering cursing computerSpilling vital coffeeReevaluating evaluationsSaving lost progressShadilayingCensoring political correctnessWhitening teethCompressing superficial workflowDeconstructing rubix cubeOptimistic ceiling staringRemoving crippling doubtsFocusing on indistinct detailsDecrypting vague guidelinesImporting stale RAW filesForgetting to remember to forgetPixelating lossless vectorsBeing politically incorrectAnalyzing previous messageDestabilizing office chairImplementing loose disciplineExposing imperfectionsCalibrating problem solvingStitching vertical panoramasSeizing the memes of productionFinding new ideas under the sunExcessive head scratchingNormalizing objective absurditiesRestarting modemDownloading RAMCultivating trivial small talkDepixelating realityIgnoring limitationsChanging coffee filtersContemplating takeaway orderAttempting to turning off and on againAligning crooked edgesAvoiding elaborate mistakesGenerating unnecessary informationEnabling voluntary overtimeProcrastinating coffee breaks