Destabilizing office chairReanimating deadlinesHacking into the mainframeSaving lost progressEnabling voluntary overtimeSimulating productivityImplementing loose disciplineDownloading RAMDecrypting vague guidelinesSeizing the memes of productionIgnoring limitationsSpilling vital coffeeProcrastinating coffee breaksOptimistic ceiling staringBuffering cursing computerEnhancing subjective beautyExcessive head scratchingAnalyzing previous messageAttempting to turning off and on againDepixelating realityContemplating takeaway orderReevaluating evaluationsImporting stale RAW filesFactoring in lazinessFinding new ideas under the sunRemoving crippling doubtsAttempting theoretical creativityWhitening teethStitching vertical panoramasFocusing on indistinct detailsCloning imperfectionsCultivating trivial small talkForgetting to remember to forgetCompounding omelette without breaking eggsCensoring political correctnessExposing imperfectionsChanging coffee filtersFabricating Russian conspiracyCompressing superficial workflowPixelating lossless vectorsAligning crooked edgesNormalizing objective absurditiesGenerating unnecessary informationAvoiding elaborate mistakesCalibrating problem solvingBeing politically incorrectRestarting modemShadilayingDeconstructing rubix cube