Simulating productivityImplementing loose disciplineBeing politically incorrectAligning crooked edgesCultivating trivial small talkBuffering cursing computerIgnoring limitationsReevaluating evaluationsExposing imperfectionsChanging coffee filtersDeconstructing rubix cubeDecrypting vague guidelinesAttempting to turning off and on againShadilayingProcrastinating coffee breaksEnabling voluntary overtimeRemoving crippling doubtsAvoiding elaborate mistakesSaving lost progressEnhancing subjective beautyContemplating takeaway orderHacking into the mainframeSpilling vital coffeeRestarting modemDestabilizing office chairCloning imperfectionsAnalyzing previous messageForgetting to remember to forgetCompounding omelette without breaking eggsDepixelating realityCompressing superficial workflowFactoring in lazinessCalibrating problem solvingDownloading RAMAttempting theoretical creativityPixelating lossless vectorsCensoring political correctnessStitching vertical panoramasFabricating Russian conspiracySeizing the memes of productionImporting stale RAW filesWhitening teethReanimating deadlinesFocusing on indistinct detailsFinding new ideas under the sunGenerating unnecessary informationNormalizing objective absurditiesOptimistic ceiling staringExcessive head scratching