Destabilizing office chairDecrypting vague guidelinesSeizing the memes of productionNormalizing objective absurditiesFactoring in lazinessDepixelating realityFabricating Russian conspiracyRestarting modemFinding new ideas under the sunCultivating trivial small talkSimulating productivityDownloading RAMAttempting theoretical creativityOptimistic ceiling staringRemoving crippling doubtsForgetting to remember to forgetBuffering cursing computerHacking into the mainframeCompounding omelette without breaking eggsShadilayingIgnoring limitationsCalibrating problem solvingImporting stale RAW filesSaving lost progressGenerating unnecessary informationChanging coffee filtersSpilling vital coffeeAnalyzing previous messageBeing politically incorrectProcrastinating coffee breaksEnabling voluntary overtimeEnhancing subjective beautyExcessive head scratchingReevaluating evaluationsReanimating deadlinesDeconstructing rubix cubeExposing imperfectionsWhitening teethCompressing superficial workflowContemplating takeaway orderPixelating lossless vectorsCensoring political correctnessImplementing loose disciplineAligning crooked edgesAttempting to turning off and on againStitching vertical panoramasCloning imperfectionsFocusing on indistinct detailsAvoiding elaborate mistakes