Simulating productivitySeizing the memes of productionReanimating deadlinesChanging coffee filtersFactoring in lazinessRestarting modemReevaluating evaluationsFinding new ideas under the sunCultivating trivial small talkAnalyzing previous messageRemoving crippling doubtsCloning imperfectionsShadilayingCompounding omelette without breaking eggsForgetting to remember to forgetProcrastinating coffee breaksAligning crooked edgesAttempting theoretical creativityWhitening teethDecrypting vague guidelinesBeing politically incorrectBuffering cursing computerDepixelating realityCalibrating problem solvingFabricating Russian conspiracyContemplating takeaway orderSpilling vital coffeeAvoiding elaborate mistakesSaving lost progressOptimistic ceiling staringExposing imperfectionsDeconstructing rubix cubeGenerating unnecessary informationEnhancing subjective beautyCensoring political correctnessStitching vertical panoramasExcessive head scratchingImplementing loose disciplineFocusing on indistinct detailsImporting stale RAW filesIgnoring limitationsDownloading RAMPixelating lossless vectorsHacking into the mainframeCompressing superficial workflowEnabling voluntary overtimeDestabilizing office chairNormalizing objective absurditiesAttempting to turning off and on again