Hacking into the mainframeProcrastinating coffee breaksDecrypting vague guidelinesForgetting to remember to forgetCultivating trivial small talkDestabilizing office chairDownloading RAMSaving lost progressShadilayingRemoving crippling doubtsRestarting modemAttempting to turning off and on againDeconstructing rubix cubeIgnoring limitationsFabricating Russian conspiracyImplementing loose disciplineReevaluating evaluationsEnabling voluntary overtimeSeizing the memes of productionAttempting theoretical creativityBuffering cursing computerAligning crooked edgesFocusing on indistinct detailsCompounding omelette without breaking eggsFactoring in lazinessPixelating lossless vectorsImporting stale RAW filesDepixelating realitySimulating productivityCalibrating problem solvingWhitening teethStitching vertical panoramasFinding new ideas under the sunCloning imperfectionsContemplating takeaway orderCompressing superficial workflowSpilling vital coffeeAvoiding elaborate mistakesGenerating unnecessary informationReanimating deadlinesBeing politically incorrectChanging coffee filtersExposing imperfectionsAnalyzing previous messageEnhancing subjective beautyCensoring political correctnessExcessive head scratchingOptimistic ceiling staringNormalizing objective absurdities