Procrastinating coffee breaksSeizing the memes of productionBeing politically incorrectAttempting theoretical creativityExcessive head scratchingDestabilizing office chairEnabling voluntary overtimeRestarting modemSpilling vital coffeeRemoving crippling doubtsCloning imperfectionsCultivating trivial small talkImplementing loose disciplineWhitening teethCensoring political correctnessEnhancing subjective beautyAvoiding elaborate mistakesChanging coffee filtersReevaluating evaluationsIgnoring limitationsBuffering cursing computerAttempting to turning off and on againSaving lost progressForgetting to remember to forgetCalibrating problem solvingAnalyzing previous messageCompressing superficial workflowFactoring in lazinessContemplating takeaway orderGenerating unnecessary informationNormalizing objective absurditiesStitching vertical panoramasImporting stale RAW filesSimulating productivityDownloading RAMReanimating deadlinesDepixelating realityDecrypting vague guidelinesFabricating Russian conspiracyShadilayingAligning crooked edgesExposing imperfectionsPixelating lossless vectorsFocusing on indistinct detailsOptimistic ceiling staringFinding new ideas under the sunDeconstructing rubix cubeHacking into the mainframeCompounding omelette without breaking eggs